Torture of the Ninja'
by Kuroi Arashi
Summary: Naruto and team 7 have to go and defeat Orichimaru. In what stupid, yet scary way, do they do it?


I am currently experiencing writers block for The Life of a Ninja, and, not wanting to disappoint my readers (1 in total), decided to write this. It's my friends' birthday tomorrow and I won't be back for a couple of days. And soon after that I have school camp. So please, R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I am not writing what you normally see. You know what a Disclaimer is, right?

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**Torture of the Ninja'**

Naruto was walking towards Tsunade's office. She had a new mission for him, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi. Unfortunately he arrived later than Kakashi, and he got a real scolding for not teaching his students to be on time. She started briefing them on the mission. "We have discovered the whereabouts of Orichimaru, and Jiraiya said Naruto learned a new Jutsu, one to defeat him." She continued on, "Team 7, MOVE OUT!" They were gone in a flash.

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**Wherever Orichimaru is**

"I sense Uchiha." He said. He got up. He changed into the most beautiful girl in The Hidden Leaf Village. "Now he will be mine! And we will have 10 children!" Kabuto started crying. "I thought sniff you said sniff we would sniff have sniff 10 children!" Kabuto started crying like there was no tomorrow. "You're so last year" Orichimaru said. "In fact, I will take your body now." Kabutos Chakra went into Orichimaru and he disappeared, without a pie.

Naruto and the gang arrived then. Sasuke gasped. "I LOVE YOU!!!" He shouted, running at Orichimaru. Kakashi stopped him. "That's Orichimaru" He said. Naruto started making Hand seals. Orichimaru knew what he was about to do. "NO!!!! Anything but that!" He shouted. Too late. "Ninja Art: Summoning Jutsu!" Naruto shouted. Everyone gasped. There, right in front of them, was Jiraiya, wearing **Very** revealing clothing, and was holding a microphone. "I, might like you better if we slept together," Jiraiya continued the chorus to this song. Sasuke whispered something in Narutos ear. "Not even Orichimaru deserves this Naruto you know that." He said. To bad for him, Naruto was joining in. "But something in your eyes say maybe that, is never. Never say never. Never." They were saying. Orichimaru screamed. He eventually made it to Jiraiya, and started kissing him. To most people, Jiraiya singing is a death, Torture, actually. To Orichimaru, it is the sexiest thing in the world. One of his turn-ons would be Jiraiya singing. Everyone fell Anime style. Jiraiya started to claw his way through Orichimaru. The he did something, which I shall not mention. Probably because at this point, Kakashi was covering their eyes, saying, "Not 'till your older." Naruto performed a Jutsu. Then Jiraiya and Orichimaru were gone. Kakashi removed his hands from their eyes, and they saw 2 sets of clothing.

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**Hokages Office**

Tsunade was filing some paperwork when she saw two people poof on her desk. Her teammates. And they were both naked. "I knew you were a girl Orichimaru" Tsunade said, calmly. She then murdered them both. Orichimaru for betraying the hidden leaf village. And Jiraiya, for being the worst part of his perverted self to a missing-nin.

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This is my first one-shot, so no flames please. I also wrote this out of mere amusement. I got the idea of Orichimaru singing from a lot of other fics. I also thought that the song I wrote would be really funny. This is my first shot a humor. I also have a different ending below.

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**Ending 2**

Naruto was walking towards Tsunade's office. She had a new mission for him, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi. Unfortunately he arrived later than Kakashi, and he got a real scolding for not teaching his students to be on time. She started briefing them on the mission. "We have discovered the whereabouts of Orichimaru, and Jiraiya said Naruto learned a new Jutsu, one to defeat him." She continued on, "Team 7, MOVE OUT!" They were gone in a flash.

* * *

**Wherever Orichimaru is**

"I sense Uchiha." He said. He got up. He changed into the most beautiful girl in The Hidden Leaf Village. "Now he will be mine! And we will have 10 children!" Kabuto started crying. "I thought sniff you said sniff we would sniff have sniff 10 children!" Kabuto started crying like there was no tomorrow. "You're so last year" Orichimaru said. "In fact, I will take your body now." Kabutos Chakra went into Orichimaru and he disappeared, without a pie.

Naruto and the gang arrived then. Sasuke gasped. "I LOVE YOU!!!" He shouted, running at Orichimaru. Kakashi stopped him. "That's Orichimaru" He said. Naruto started making Hand seals. Orichimaru knew what he was about to do. "NO!!!! Anything but that!" He shouted. Too late. "Ninja Art: Summoning Jutsu!" Naruto shouted. Everyone gasped. There, right in front of them, was Jiraiya, wearing **Very** revealing clothing, and was holding a microphone. "I, might like you better if we slept together," Jiraiya continued the chorus to this song. Sasuke whispered something in Narutos ear. "Not even Orichimaru deserves this Naruto you know that." He said. To bad for him, Naruto was joining in. "But something in your eyes say maybe that, is never. Never say never. Never." They were saying. Orichimaru screamed. He could not take it any longer. He reached into his Kunai pouch, however Naruto stopped him. Sasuke walked up to him and repeated the same thing. Naruto sighed this time. He turned to Jiraiya. "Stop now." He said. Jiraiya wouldn't. "You forced me to." Naruto continued. He made some seals. "Ultimate Bunny Attack Jutsu!" He yelled out. Jiraiya screamed as 1,000,000 bunnies started hopping towards him. He fell down and disappeared. Orichimaru was screaming. "I'm sorry," Naruto started, "I didn't mean to hurt you. How about we go eat some Ice-Cream?"

"Can I have chocolate?" Orichimaru asked. Naruto nodded. "Yippee" Orichimaru yelled out. And they lived happily ever after.

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Hope you liked that. Like I said, it was my first my-shot, so please no flames! See ya next chapter (of The Life of a Ninja). 


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